bonk~bonker~bonkersz~bonkerderszzzz

I saw one advertisement clip on tv just now. The commercial is for this talent-search reality show ‘One In A Million’. In the commercial, you can see this bank robbery scene, where few guys stormed into a bank, and one of the robber threw a bag to a bank employee, pointing ’something’ to him and demanded for cash and valuables. The bank employee then started singing into the bag…. (you got that? his voice is worth a million lah konon konon.. haha!) Ok that’s not what I want to talk about. See, this robber is holding ’something’ and pointed it to the bank employee, so what is this something???? Nah, they censored it!!! (mosaic-ed the thing the robber was holding) Fark it, why the hell you need to censore that? What I observed so far, on Malaysia tv, you have censorship when there is kissing scene.. fark scene (ok we will never see that here :D) and normally they just cut the steamy parts out, or if you notice some commercials by SmartShop where they show girls in bikini with nice body - because those girls konon kononnya use the product bla bla.. ab-master, some magic cream bla bla.. and you will see there are ‘mosaics’ at the boobs area, crotch area.. (because some holy shiet guy in the censorship board thought that you will go crazy after see those boobs and start going to rape every single girls or dogs on the street) So, can we assume that they ‘mosaic-ed’ the thing the robber was holding is because that thing is something sexual? (because I never see they censor gun before on tv, you can watch ALIAS, LOST bla bla.. and see this guy holding gun without they ‘mosaic-ed’ the gun part) So what the guy was holding? Hmm.. the best guess is that he’s holding a ‘dildo‘ and pointing it to the bank employee muahahahahahaha! That’s why they censored it. A dildo!! Or a gun that look like a dildo? Ok that’s my lousy guess So, what do you guys think he was holding? It must be something so explicit, damaging for the public to see to the extent that it must be ‘mosaic-ed’ - censored! Let me know.. hahahahahaha!

I went to one of the local council today, submit a CF application. The CF application is for the extension of canopy roof for an existing factory. The factory itself already got the CF, and the owner want CF for the extended canopy as well. Normally, it’s not compulsory for a canopy to have CF. ( I asked about this before, one lady at building department told me they normally do not give out CF just for canopy, but if the owner insists, they will give). Ok, for a typical CF application for a premis (office, housing scheme, factory, warehouse bla bla) you need to prepare few things such as the forms, letter to each deparment involved and most impotant photos for the items in the checklist given by each of the departments. (eg. Building department- front, side, back view of premis, refuse chamber, guard house Planning dept - signboard, flags, toilets, pantry, parking space and numbering Engineering dept. - road signs, drainage sumps, existing drain, Landscape dept. - trees, flowers) and submit is at the One Stop Centre (OSC -a department where you submit all the plans, bla bla.. and then they will distribute the relevant documents to the department involved) Ok, I referred to the checklist given, but all the items in it have nothing to to do with the canopy, so I thought nevermind, I just prepared photos showing the canopy then is enough, no need the checklist. (If use the checklist, what to tick? None of the item is for the canopy) Damn it I was wrong!! Here’s what happened :

… satu kosong empat lapan kaunter 7 (my number kena!! wah lao! :D) so I went to the kaunter

Me : Hi Manis, I nak submit for CF application. (Ok, I didn’t said ‘Manis’. She’s not manis either.. bit bitter I think haha!)

Lady : Untuk projek aper?

Me : Extension of canopy untuk kilang sedia ada kat … bla bla bla..

Lady : Uh? Canopy jer? Kilang dah ada CF? Tapi kalau canopy jer biasa tak payah submit.

Me : Ya, kilang dah ada CF. Er, owner nak ada CF untuk canopy.

Then the lady checked the documents - forms, photos, letters everything..

Lady : Mana checklist Jabatan Perancang?

Me : Oh, I checked, takder item yang berkaitan, so I tak sertakan.

Lady : Em, tunggu jap ye, I call bangunan jap.

She called this one big shot at building dept.. two of them bla bla bla la.. for few minutes..

Lady : Handsome, kena ada checklist dari Jabatan Perancang juga dan kena prepare gambar yang diminta dalam checklist, untuk Perancang dan Bangunan sekali.

Me : HaaaaaaaaaaarghhHH!! Tapi, saya submit untuk canopy saja, kilang dah ada CF, buat apa nak gambar yang lain lain? Tak kan saya kena sertakan gambar surau.. tandas, ofis kalau saya apply CF untuk canopy bukan kilang?

Lady : Ini prosedur encik. Kena ikut.

Me : Em, boleh saya cakap dengan yang in-charge CF kat Jabatan Bangunan?

Lady : Ok, saya call you cakap dengan dia.

She called and passed the line to me.

Big shot lady : Selamat pagi.

Me : Selamat pagi puan, Ye nak tanya sikit, berkenaan CF submission ini.

Big shot lady : You nak submit CF untuk apa ni. Kilang?

Me : Untuk canopy

Big shot lady : Canopy saje? Kilang dah ada CF? Pelan dah lulus? (Fark, if not yet lulus I wont submit in la tolol…)

Me : Ya sudah lulus. Kilang dah ada CF. Lepas tu owner buat extension canopy pada kilang, and dia nak CF untuk part canopy tu. So saya submit gambar gambar canopy sahaja boleh tak?

Big shot lady : Tak boleh. You kena prepare gambar gambar kemudahan lain, tandas, penanda jalan, surau.. bla bla. Kita nak tengok gambar gambar itu juga.

Me : Tapi, kilang dah ada CF, pihak bangunan dah pergi buat inspection masa CF application, kali ni untuk canopy saja pun kena submit balik gambar gambar yang lain selain canopy?

Big shot lady : Ye kita tahu dah ada CF, kita tak akan inspect apa yang dah existing kat site, cuma kita nak simpan sebagai rekod.

Me : Kalau tak inspect yang existing, tak perlulah nak gambar gambar yang lain. Gambar canopy saja cukuplah puan. Rekod? Bukan ke masa apply CF untuk kilang, kita dah bagi bangunan dua set gambar bangunan, dah ada lah gambar surau, tandas, kebuk sampah..

Big shot lady : Itu lain. Fail lain lain, ini kita nak satu fail. Nanti ada apa apa berlaku kat you punya canopy kita boleh refer. (wtf she’s saying? canopy.. canopy la.. what refer other photos?)

Me : Memang lah lain lain fail puan. Ini kira dua submission, tak ada kena mengena lah..Kalau ada apa apa berlaku pada canopy, puan refer fail dan gambar canopy, kalau ada apa apa berlaku pada bangunan, puan refer fail dan gambar bangunan. CF pun lain lain kan?

Big shot lady : Ini prosedur. Kalau nak submit kena ikut prosedur

Me : Tapi…

Big shot lady : Ini prosedur… ini prosedur… (chanting.. )

In the end I decided not to submit…Procedures.. procedures my ass… everytime procedure. Dont think they even understand what are the procedures for…Procedures were created in the first place to facilitate a process of doing things and make do things easier, not creating obstacles..

I went to Genting Highland last weekend. And tell you what, I’m so farking generous!! I donated few hundred ringgits to Uncle Lim and a camera to somebody…Yes! I lost my money.. and my camera.. what a way to spend my weekend. Went there by bus, after booked for this Free and Easy package. Not bad, for RM221, you get a room to stay, 2 tickets to watch a magic show, 2 tickets for Genting Skyway, buffet coupons, discount on Theme Park rides The day we arrived about 2pm, it was raining heavily, so couldnt enjoy the Outdoor Theme Park rides… Nothing to do, I dragged myself into the Starworld casino, put some money into the slot machines, killing time..waiting for the magic show to start.. The magic show was ok ( I never really watch a magic show before, the last time I watch a magic show.. was at this street.. this old man peddling his medicines, massage oils bla bla.. :D) Er, it’s stimulating to watch pretty girls dressed up in Egyptian costumes and dancing around, shaking their bon bon.. muahahahaha! The next day, went for the theme park rides, took damn lot of photos.. videos.. bla bla bla… lunch time.. After took my lunch, snap more photos, got this cultural dance perfomance at that time.. so I took some photos of the hot and sweet girls.. then, plan to go back KL. But before that, I decided to give it a try at the casino.. which was a bad decision.. :( Because we already, checked out from the hotel we stayed, we had no place to put our luggage (couldnt bring it into the casino) so we put it at the locker next to the theme park. After putting the things, we walked to the casino.. and my gf asked "Ei, where’s the camera? With you ah?" to which I replied ‘ Em, in the paper bag I think.. already in the locker…’ and happily we went to ‘donate’ our money…. 2 hours after that, came out from casino.. ( Yes I donated few hundred ringgits to Uncle Lim), went to take our stuffs, taaaaa raaaaaaa!! No camera in the locker, checked the bags.. everything.. damn it, camera aku hilang!! My handsome photos!! Wonder if somebody out there is jacking off looking at those photos.. :D Haih… not a good day for me :(  My precious camera..