bonk~bonker~bonkersz~bonkerderszzzz

I got this from my friendster bulletin board. It’s so cool :D haha! so check it out guys! (Thanks to the person who wrote this, whoever you are :D)

Extremely important advice and recommendations to
be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés,
mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in
general) These rules are to be communicated prior
to the World Cup in June/July this year…

LIST OF RULES
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should
read the sports section of the newspaper so that
you are aware of what is going on regarding the
World Cup, and that way you will be able to join
in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then
you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be
totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not
receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is
mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you
even take a glimpse of the remote control, you
will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the
TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do
it crawling on the floor and without distracting
me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the
TV, make sure you put clothes on right after
because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to
take you to the doctor or look after you during
the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf
and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or
something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer
the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell
from the second floor….it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep
at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times,
as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
please do not make any funny faces to my friends
when they come over to watch the games. In return,
you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and
6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed
during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me
upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT
say "get over it, its only a game", or "don’t
worry, they’ll win next time". If you say these
things, you will only make me angrier and I will
love you less. Remember, you will never ever know
more about football than me and your so called
"words of encouragement" will only lead to a break
up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch
one game and you can talk to me during halftime
but only when the commercials are on, and only if
the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition,
please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not
use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to
"spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very
important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I
haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many
times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any
babies, or any other child related parties or
gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to
his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be
there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on
TV every night is just as important as the games
themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
you have already seen this…why don’t you change
the channel to something we can all watch??", the
reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your
expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is
only every 4 years". I am immune to these words,
because after this comes the Champions League,
Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League,
etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 18th, 2006 at 3:59 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.