bonk~bonker~bonkersz~bonkerderszzzz

Farking sohai… sohai - so (stupid, dumb, dungu, bodoh, lembab, ngok, bengap) hai- (pussy, cheebuy….) literally - stupid pussy muahahaha.. em, dumbass is the the closer translation.. only in english we put ass with dumb.. but in cantonese they put  cheebuy with it… (wah.. mencarut sana sini! bad influence for children.. my ass…1st first who the hell allow your children to read my craps :D)

Ok. Which sohai I’m talking about? The one that supposed to repair the access road to my condominium here. You see, the access road connecting the main road (Damansara-Puchong Expressway - LDP) to the place I stay is really in a bad bad condition. Potholes here and there, it feels like driving on trenches along that 200m road. Look no far to get 1st class 4WD- jungle trekking expedition, you can get it here. And, thanks to the authority (I presume they did the road patch up job), they will come and patch up the holes once in a while… and after 1-2 weeks.. again back to old condition. (Not suprised, looking at how they did the job, simply taruk only, just filled the holes with the premix, that’s it… no wonder after few days the holes reappear) So they came up with a super smart solution, they constructed bumps at every 50m of the road!!!  What the fark!!!  The road is already so bad, and people already drive very slow there..every car basically vibrating and shaking its way out to the main road..why construct bumps????? Why don’t they use the premix that they used to construct those bumps and patch up those potholes? Do a proper patch-up.. then it holes will not appear anymore..Haih.. doing such a simple job also cannot do properly.. want to talk about other things..Ptui!! Menyampah aku..

Monday.. Today damn tiring, running around for the submission to authority. (submission to One Stop Centre - where you submit all the building
plans, road and drainage and earthwork layout,temporary building
plans..landscape plans and bla bla bla documents to each of these
departments - Building, Planning, Engineering and Landscape. Farking
lots of plans to submit.. Just imagine one project you have 20
drawings, this dept want 2 set, another dept need 3 sets…. ) Yes.. boring thing to do as I need to calibrate my intelligence to match those I’m dealing with.. you know.. to be on their level.. (oh yeah!!! that’s damn arrogant things to say heh! I’m one arrogant bastard bwahahahaha! Beat me! :D) Went for the submission at 9am with my colleague. Everything ok.. signed.. arranged in order.. alamak.. kantoi… thought of breaking my own record of doing submission - one time submit, terus kaotim (settle). For the past few submission to the authority, I never able to submit it one time.  Sure got things miss out, ‘new’ requirements… really hard to please lah these people.. basically they are there to find out your mistakes, and they are farking happy to make your life miserable.. running here and there just to fulfil some funny..weird.. requirements.. okaylah.. some of the requirements are acceptable.. but some.. just … duh!

So my 1st submission session this morning failed.. Mission failed, because got 2 drawings, the owner didn’t sign it. Bah, need to bring it back for signing. Came back in the afternoon, drawings signed, the lady passed me the submission bill asked to pay. Went to the payment counter.. RM100 bill, checked my wallet.. aduh, left RM50 only (me damn farking poor this month.. really merempat like that.. aku pengemis yang bergaya..bwahahaha!) Nvm, use plastic..

Lady: Encik, kita tak terima kad kredit.. Kena pakai cash atau cheque.
Me: Ah?? Okay, tunggu kejap

So I went to the ATM machine outside cucuk duit… dang dang dang.. Maybank left RM 39.32 muahahahhaa!! And I didn’t bring my other ATM card.. So no money to pay the submission bill heheheh, went back to payment counter told the lady.

Me : Er, saya bayar esok lah.. tak cukup duit.. (Aisehman.. malu malu.. haha!.. )

Then went to the submission counter again, told the lady there I will pay tomorrow. She then told me..

Lady : Ah, you bayar esok? Okaylah.. I rasa you memang tak boleh submit hari ini. Ini you puya cover letter tak boleh terima (showing me the cover letter to the landscape dept.) Kita tak terima cover letter yang dah kena scrap… liquid.. ( I scrapped off one line in the letter because the landscape architect made a mistake in his letter by including some items which are not relevant to our submission. For the past submissions I did that all the time, scrapped off the date, put in new date for submission.. bla bla.. actually really not that obvious..because done by pro –> me :D but if you purposely look for it, then it’s obvious la.. what la..)

Me : Ah? Dulu boleh, tak boleh liquid jer.. Scrap boleh kan?

Lady : Sekarang tak boleh… dulu boleh..

Me : (fark.. this excuse lagi…dulu lain.. sekarang lain… more like everytime lain lain….never same..) Oh okay.. no choice lah I bawa balik amend.

So tomorrow.. repeat the same routine again.. hopefully everything going smoothly. Yeah yeah! Go go go..!

So, World Cup is over. No more daily ramblings about which team to win by so call ‘football analyst’.. No more cursing when our favourite lose, due to lousy refeeree or dumb game strategy by the coach.. No more shouts of joy from the mamak stall below my condo when a team scored…We are back to usual, mundane..boring life I really enjoy this world cup edition, I even watched almost 95% of the game! Another reason I watch all the game is because I put my money on the line.. I’m punter. Serious one. And lousy one I guess.. haha! Forget about that, not a cheerful thing to talk about.

So, my friends out there.. How’s life? It’s been a year since I started working, pretty much get used to the routine. I’m still in the same company. Most of my friends either have change their working place or change their profession.. I guess I’m not the type of person that keep changing jobs/working place..I’m plain lazy hahaha! Some of them are married, some just came out from uni and working (neh.. like Cibol. he’s not that happy from what I read from his blog… relax man.. take it easy.. relek pok.. ilek ilek bah.. hahahah!) Talking about marriage, my ex-boss daughter (I did part time when I was studying in uni, that’s how I know her) is going to have her wedding this Saturday in Johor. I promised her I will go.. so you guys maybe will see me in JB this Saturday.. and Sunday

Cibol blogged about his first crush here. Lol, horny monkey.. I think my 1st crush will be when I was 7.. or 8 years old.. couldn’t remember exactly. The girl was in the same class with me, and I couldn’t remember why I like her.. but I recalled giving her my drawings.. I still remember tracing pictures from story books..colouring and folding the drawings nicely together with love letters.. kakakakaakaka! And it was written in malay.. lol lol lol… it and gave it to the girl.. muahahahaha! (I’m such a genius back then!!) Er, I can’t remember her name.. I got her photo (class photo) last time, but all my photo albums lost when I moved here to work, so I got nothing to show to you guys haha! (Damn, everytime think of my photo albums and how it get lost, it snapped some nerves in me..I feel like whacking the cheebye kia..)

I’m going to take my bath now, I’ll write some other time. Happy days ahead guys..

To all my Dayak friends! Selamat Hari Gawai!! So many Dayak etnics in Sarawak, but I can only speak Iban so I will continue my today’s post with BI - Bahasa Iban. (most of my Dayak friends are Iban anyway) Don’t laugh indu indu .. dum dum ..jang jang di luar sana! Bwawahahahah!

Gawai tu, arap ka kitak ke nyambut Gawai gayu guru gerai nyamai, lantang senang! Nama utai ka dipinta, ti ka rumah besai, pinta bini besai, kereta besai arap ka bulih magang (ada ka perkataan tok?) Sida ka bisi ngirup ai tuak nya, ingat ingat ka anang me-malau ke dirik. Oh ya, bisi main lagu ‘Aku Palau’ gawai tok? Ah? Bisi lagu baru? ‘Indu Palau?’ Sounds kul! (I made that up) Ar? Bisi artis Iban baru? Anderson Ngalai enggau Johnny Aman enda berlagu agi? Hehe.. gaga amai ati aku ti berjako pasal Gawai. Lama udah enda ke rumah panjai, menda indu bajik rumah panjai, mandi telanjai.. (Oh no! No offence girls, it’s just that it rhymes! Haha!)

B, sorry enda nitih nuan pulai nadai tiket belon kati ka deh? Send my wishes to uncle and auntie. Makai ka mayoh mayoh maya ari gawai tu, anang tan-tan.. muahahahaaha! I’ll see you soon Muaks!

Archibald, sorry laban enda ulih bergawai ba rumah panjai nuan, sampai ka berita ngagai indai apai nuan! (Anang enda ingat bai si ti dua case ai tuak pulai ditu Ulih kitai bergawai baru ba KL muahahahaha!)

Alice, sorry laban enda ulih datai maya ari besai nuan, anyway wish you all the best things in the world!:)

Rowena, same goes to you. Sorry lah sik pat datang hari berbahagia kau, ada masa kita keluar makan makan k? My treat

Kaban ka bukai nadai disebut aku ba ditu, nuan nemu sapa nuan (isk.. translated bulat bulat you know who you are hahah!) Dini alai menua nuan, as long as nuan nyambut Gawai, Selamat Hari Gawai! Eeeeeeee hahh!! Aram meh kitai bertandak nitih ke lagu Gawai.. Take care guys!

p/s : pardon my lousy Iban heheh! Never really write in Iban, only talk some with Iban friends. I stand corrected

It’s Been A While (Staind)

It’s been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it’s been a while
Since I first saw you
It’s been a while
since i could stand on my own two feet again
and it’s been a while
since i could call you
But everything I can’t remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I’ve rendered
I’ve stretched myself beyond my means

It’s been a while
since i could say that i wasn’t addicted and
It’s been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well and
It’s been a while
Since I’ve gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It’s been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i’m with you
But everything I can’t remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I’ve rendered
I’ve gone and fucked things up again

Why must i feel this way?
just make this go away
just one more peaceful day

Its been awhile
Since I could lok at myself straight
and it’s been awhile
since i said i’m sorry
It’s been awhile
Since I’ve seen the way the candles light your face
It’s been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
But everything I can’t remember as fucked up as it may seem
I know it’s me i cannot blame this on my father
he did the best he could for me

It’s been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it’s been a while since i said i’m sorry

Dear Mr. Thief,

Why? Why when I walked to my bike this morning I couldn’t find my raincoat? You cheebuy bastard, I know you took it. Don’t you know that how sad it is riding a bike when it’s raining without raincoat? Your parent never teach you is it? Never tell you don’t take what’s not belong to you? Man, you damn pathetic, even if you want to take things that’s not yours, c’mon take something more valueable. My raincoat? Dirty, made of cheap material, got holes here and there you still want it? Just how low can you be? Fine, for I believe "what goes around, comes around". Karma man, just reember Karma…. Enjoy your rainy days fag!

I went out for some drinks with my friends last Friday night at Flame. It was supposed to be some kind of gathering but judging from the number of people that came.. hehehe.. It’s just another buddy drinking session hahaha! Well, we spent like 2-3 hours there and then we decided to cabut.. Nothing interesting happens so none to share about just normal drink and goyang goyang a bit.. gesel gesel.. It was about 2.45am when we leave. My housemate already started puking here and then.. haha! Luckily he’s not the one that drives. Another friend was driving. I was still sober at the time, only felt that my head was spinning, it’s like my head size increased by 10kg haha.. so heavy.. couldn’t wait to be home and get a good sleep. So when we reached our condo, walking to the lobby.. oh fark!! The lift was not working! (Lifts at my condo damn lousy, slow.. always not working, and sometimes halfway going down it stopped. Kanasai punya management!)  Damn it.. and our unit is at 16th floor…Cheebuy.. No choice, so I and my housemate dragged our asses up to 16th floor, climbing the staircase.. It was not a pleasant experience.. Climbing stairs, with my head spinning, intoxicated state felt like forever..At that time I worried that I will need to carry my housemate because he seemed like going to pass out anytime haha!Anyway we made it to our unit. Can’t explain how relieved and happy when I reached the 16th floor..Imagine that you are damn farking horny,but you can’t get your lil. bro up, but at last with sheer determination you manage it Yes, it’s that feeling.. (lousy analogy muahahahah) But I guess climbing stairs + alcohol just don’t mix. Because I went straight to the toilet bowl after that Hahahahah!!

Moral of the story - Bring sleeping gears with you (e.g sleeping bag, bamboo mattress) when you plan to get intoxicated so you can sleep anywhere you want without bothering to go back to your place. (This tip applied only for those staying higher than 15 metres from the ground) 

While I watched the 8.30pm Buletin Utama news just now on Sarawak DUN Election, our TPM said something like this ‘ Kita tidak perlu pembangkang, kalau mereka kata hendak 1 kerusi, 2 kerusi dalam parlimen, DUN untuk mengimbangkan kita, kita bagitau mereka, kita ada wakil dan ahli yang boleh menegur parti, menyampaikan hasrat rakyat’ translated as ‘ We don’t need the opposition, they asked for seats in the parliment for the purpose of check and balance, we will tell them our own MP(party member) can critic the party, and represent the people’s voice.’

Hahahaha! Joker ! Not exactly true.. he’s telling lie for all I know (oh yeah we have so many liars running the country..represents us in the parliment - remember that Jasin MP ‘close one eye’ issue? - farker so daring to lie in public, yet no actions against him ..ptui!) It’s a lie - big one, that their party member can ‘menegur’ the party. Why we need more opposition voices? It’s very clear, because we have too many dumb politicians now sitting in the parliment, just voting following the majority… and most of the time, majority in Malaysia never really means anything good. (Look at those so called ‘majority’ decisions by our cabinet. This group of majority, can agree/vote to carry on with the ’scenic’ bridge project one moment, and the next moment, again this ‘majority’ decided to abandon the project. How silly and stupid that sounds to you?? What kind of ‘majority’ is that? More like a no backbone bunch of morons following the voice of one slightly smarter moron to me) Just another day, one cheebuy minister said, their MPs are there because of the party, so they cannot vote based on their conscience, follow the party, follow the majority. What a good MP can do if he’s not able to vote based on his conscience? Farkish ideology… Do they really have individuals that can ‘menegur’ parti? Before the person menegur I think he will be summoned to the disciplinary hearing committee.. bla bla (add shits here) and then that person will swallow whatever shits he ever said before. (Sounds familiar? ‘Oh saya mengaku, saya silap.. bla bla.. - self blaming rantings)

I got this from my friendster bulletin board. It’s so cool :D haha! so check it out guys! (Thanks to the person who wrote this, whoever you are :D)

Extremely important advice and recommendations to
be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés,
mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in
general) These rules are to be communicated prior
to the World Cup in June/July this year…

LIST OF RULES
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should
read the sports section of the newspaper so that
you are aware of what is going on regarding the
World Cup, and that way you will be able to join
in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then
you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be
totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not
receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is
mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you
even take a glimpse of the remote control, you
will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the
TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do
it crawling on the floor and without distracting
me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the
TV, make sure you put clothes on right after
because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to
take you to the doctor or look after you during
the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf
and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or
something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer
the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell
from the second floor….it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep
at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times,
as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
please do not make any funny faces to my friends
when they come over to watch the games. In return,
you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and
6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed
during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me
upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT
say "get over it, its only a game", or "don’t
worry, they’ll win next time". If you say these
things, you will only make me angrier and I will
love you less. Remember, you will never ever know
more about football than me and your so called
"words of encouragement" will only lead to a break
up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch
one game and you can talk to me during halftime
but only when the commercials are on, and only if
the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition,
please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not
use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to
"spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very
important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I
haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many
times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any
babies, or any other child related parties or
gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to
his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be
there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on
TV every night is just as important as the games
themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
you have already seen this…why don’t you change
the channel to something we can all watch??", the
reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your
expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is
only every 4 years". I am immune to these words,
because after this comes the Champions League,
Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League,
etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation

I saw one advertisement clip on tv just now. The commercial is for this talent-search reality show ‘One In A Million’. In the commercial, you can see this bank robbery scene, where few guys stormed into a bank, and one of the robber threw a bag to a bank employee, pointing ’something’ to him and demanded for cash and valuables. The bank employee then started singing into the bag…. (you got that? his voice is worth a million lah konon konon.. haha!) Ok that’s not what I want to talk about. See, this robber is holding ’something’ and pointed it to the bank employee, so what is this something???? Nah, they censored it!!! (mosaic-ed the thing the robber was holding) Fark it, why the hell you need to censore that? What I observed so far, on Malaysia tv, you have censorship when there is kissing scene.. fark scene (ok we will never see that here :D) and normally they just cut the steamy parts out, or if you notice some commercials by SmartShop where they show girls in bikini with nice body - because those girls konon kononnya use the product bla bla.. ab-master, some magic cream bla bla.. and you will see there are ‘mosaics’ at the boobs area, crotch area.. (because some holy shiet guy in the censorship board thought that you will go crazy after see those boobs and start going to rape every single girls or dogs on the street) So, can we assume that they ‘mosaic-ed’ the thing the robber was holding is because that thing is something sexual? (because I never see they censor gun before on tv, you can watch ALIAS, LOST bla bla.. and see this guy holding gun without they ‘mosaic-ed’ the gun part) So what the guy was holding? Hmm.. the best guess is that he’s holding a ‘dildo‘ and pointing it to the bank employee muahahahahahaha! That’s why they censored it. A dildo!! Or a gun that look like a dildo? Ok that’s my lousy guess So, what do you guys think he was holding? It must be something so explicit, damaging for the public to see to the extent that it must be ‘mosaic-ed’ - censored! Let me know.. hahahahahaha!